Baby's own room or sharing the room with Mom and Dad?
When it's time to go home with a new baby there's always some doubts and even controversies about the best way to rise a new born child and small baby; some people state that leaving the baby on her/his own room since the very first day at home will increase the baby's sense of independence and will allow a better rest for all the family, parents and child; on the other hand there's a group of parents thinking about sharing their room with the baby is a better nursery style.
Undoubtedly this is a very personal decision and what works for some people, won't do for others and even when the controversy will still last for long, here you will find some pros and cons of every single style in order to allow you to take a decision about what will work for you based on facts instead of myths.
Baby's Own Room:
- Probably the baby will rest better once asleep because there will not be parent's movements and noises attracting her/his attention
- You may use a night light to keep the baby comfortable without disturbing your own sleep
- Everything you need for the baby (diapers, wet wipes, etc) will be on the room near to the cradle
- Some researches state about the positive effect of encouraging independence from the very beginning at home
- In case of siblings, the big kids won't feel that the new baby is stealing something from them.
- Parents may set rounds to be with the baby at night.
- A little kid could feel lonely and abandoned during the night when let away from mom
- You could not be aware about the baby's cry if you are too tired and have a heavy sleep
- It could be necessary to count with sound monitors to hear the baby, especially if the baby's room is far from you.
- Some parents can't sleep good because they are afraid of missing baby's crying during the night
- You must move through the house during on the darkness during the night to take care of the baby when needed.
Sharing Mom and Dad's Room:
- The baby is near to you and it's hard not to be aware of the crying
- A little kid will feel always near mommy and daddy, giving her/him more confidence
- You don't need to move away from your own room to take care of the baby.
- You'll feel closer to your little baby
- You don't need remote monitoring since the baby is aside you.
- Bigger siblings could feel displaced by the new baby
- In case of using a night light your own rest could be compromised, but if you decide not to use the night light, the baby could feel a little anxious during the night.
- Both of you will respond simultaneously to the baby's cry, being almost impossible to make rounds to take care of the little kid/girl.
- If you need something for the baby (diaper, wet wipes) you need to go to the baby's room or you will need to have everything double, at baby's room and your own room.
- Parent's rest could be compromised
- Couple's intimate contact is limited by the baby presence
The aforementioned are real and objective facts that must be weighted by parents in order to make a decision, depending of what's most valuable for them, the presence/absence of third parties help during the night (grandma, nurse, etc) and individual life style, one or another style may be used; moreover, some parents share the room until the baby has grew enough to be alone (between 3 and 6 months) and afterwards change to her/his own room.
At the end of the day, whichever decision you make will be correct if you consider your own family needs and reality; stop hearing third parties' experiences since each family has its own dynamics and particular characteristics, hence what you decide must be adapted to such dynamics and nothing else.
Your kids will grow up fast, thus it's necessary to do whichever you need to rest enough to enjoy them as most as you can while your kids enjoy their parents and chilhood!